Through the McNair Scholars Program I was able to participate in the eight-week summer research internship and craft a collection of flash nonfiction essays, with the help of my mentor Dr. Traci Brimhall.
For this project, I knew I wanted to center the essays around grief and to conduct research by visiting public spaces dedicated to grief. I chose the genre of creative nonfiction to be able to authentically express my experiences and observations of each location. I wanted to capture the emotional truths that these visits offered.
I took inspiration from Nancy Cobb’s In Lieu of Flowers: A Conversation for the Living. She writes honestly about her own loss and time spent grieving. She works to create an open conversation about grief, one that can form connections between seeming strangers. I wanted to emulate this personal approach through creative nonfiction and add my own thoughts to the conversation.
Due to the limited time frame, I stayed within Kansas when choosing my locations, but each location offered me much to ruminate on.
The two locations that sparked the idea of this project are the Sallie House in Atchison and the World War I museum. I was drawn to the similarities that both museums share, while appearing so different. They share the appeal to tourism and capture the desire to preserve a bit of history. While touring the Sallie House, there were lamented information sheets that told a story about each part of the house. I was reminded of the plaques and screens that detailed the background of the war, the reality of the trenches, and named the different types of guns used. They both even had gift shops and souvenirs. Both locations invite you to interact with scenes of horror.
The Sallie House
World War I Memorial and Museum
While these were the first locations I had in mind for this project, the first location I actually visited was my grandfather’s grave. I wanted to start here to fully ground the collection of essays in my personal experience. As well, I had not visited his grave since he passed away last spring. The process of intentionally observing the cemetery and his grave gave me a chance to sit with my feelings, and him. I was inspired by the similarities between his home and grave. I now know that my grandma will be buried to his left. This is how they sat in their recliners every day and how they went to sleep every night. There’s a sense of familiarity that gives me comfort.
During the beginning of the summer internship, my paternal grandfather passed away. This coincided with my trip to the Riley County Historical Museum. Dr. Brimhall had mentioned they had a hair wreath and, having never heard of this, I was intrigued. It is a Victorian practice meant to memorialize family and friends who have passed. I was expecting a round shape, like a Christmas wreath, so I was surprised by the horseshoe made of intricately crafted flowers and petals interspersed with curls. I can’t imagine how many individual strands of hair were used within the piece. Black, brown, gray and blonde are all represented in the wreath. The silver contrasted by the black reminded me of my grandfather and his own dark locks grayed with time. I was compelled to write about his great head of hair that remained all his life.
Hair Wreath at the Riley County Historical Museum
At the Riley County Historical Museum, I learned that the historical society provides the opportunity for volunteers to clean headstones in Riley County. The one that I attended in June took place at May Day Cemetery in Green, KS. This was a new, and additional, experience I could draw on for my essays. I left with the reminder that the goal of this volunteer work is preservation.
The before and after of a headstone cleaning
The last location included in my essays is Faithful Friends Pet Cemetery.
I was curious to observe the similarities and differences in the headstones and messages chosen for animals compared to people. I wondered if there were any reserved plots or families buried together. To answer my own questions, yes, there are reserved spaces and headstones of dogs and cats lined in a row, all with the same last name. The messages often read of owners hoping for reunion and testaments of true companionship.
The headstone of “Puko,” the cat of Faithful Friends’ founder Theda L. Lockhart.
I am grateful to Dr. Brimhall for revising my essays and going to some of these locations with me, as well as helping me find and submit one of the pieces for publishing. My essay “Resting Place” will appear in 105 Meadowlark Reader. I want to thank the McNair faculty for the opportunity and guidance. I found that these locations sparked memories of my own loss and thoughts on grieving. I chose to braid personal moments and scenes from the locations throughout the essays to portray how these public spaces facilitated deeper thoughts on my personal grief.
— Riley Brokeshoulder (BA ’25)
K-State English 